I Know You Are, But What Am I?

I’ve been accused of a lot of things lately.

I’ve been accused of being a white male. Of having a first name that starts with the letter ‘J.’ Of living in Colorado.

In fact, I hear the verbal assaults all the time.You’re just being a white guy!

You’re just acting like someone whose first name starts with the letter ‘J’!

That’s so typical. It’s just like you to act like you live in Colorado!

You know how they say the most hurtful criticisms are the ones that are true? Well, it is in that spirit that I can really sympathize with Sen. Ken Gordon, who on Thursday spoke out about the troop escalation in Iraq, which prompted a biting press release from Republicans with this line in the first paragraph:

The GOP called the comments “disgusting,” an insult to the military and playing politics.

Poor Gordon, getting caught playing politics. After all, he is a “politician,” so not only was the accusation sharp…it was true.

Burn!

Hey!

Wait a second…

The people who are accusing Gordon of “playing politics” are themselves in fact “politicians,” are they not? If one politician accuses another politician of “playing politics,” then aren’t they just “playing politics” themselves?

Isn’t that like Peyton Manning accusing Tom Brady of “playing football?”

Or Britney Spears accusing Courtney Love of “playing crazy?”

Or Britney Spears accusing Paris Hilton of “playing dumb?”

Or Britney Spears accusing Howie Mandel of “playing bald?”

Or Britney Spears accusing Lindsay Lohan of…

Okay, you get the point.

It’s tempting to say that this is an example of the pot calling the kettle black, but that wouldn’t be entirely accurate. This is the pot calling another pot a pot, and it happens all the time in politics.

In fact, Gordon should fire back and accuse the GOP of playing politics when they accused him of playing politics. We should encourage this, and see how long it might continue.

He’s just playing politics!

No shit. He’s a politician. And you’re a politician, and you’re playing politics by accusing someone else of playing politics. Now, go back in your bat caves and find a better weapon to stick on your utility belts.

Some might say that this is why people don’t like politicians.

Me?

This is exactly why I often find them so amusing.

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Jason Bane

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