Hush, Hush & On the QT: Is Fraser’s Frozen Feud Folly?

What four words are causing battle lines to be formed between the towns of International Falls, Minnesota and Fraser, Colorado? Yes, there is a “Cold War,” as the Minnesota paper The Pioneer Press dubbed it, being waged between the two entities over the rights to officially call their town “The Icebox of the Nation.” Granted some business people on both sides would rather see that moniker disappear because it’s hard to market an area that is renowned for freezing your ass off.  However, this is a matter of pride to locals and officials from each side of the ice cube tray.

The debate started when International Falls failed to renew their trademark “The Icebox of the Nation” with the federal government and the town of Fraser picked it up. International Falls wants it back but Fraser refuses to relinquish the slogan they claim they originated.

Colorado Confidential has decided to jump in the fray to back Fraser’s entitlement.

Hey, sorry, International Falls, Minnesota… don’t blame the good folks of Fraser, Colorado, for capturing the slogan you let slip through your gloves. Besides, Fraser, Colorado has earned that nickname over the years and here are the Top Ten reasons why:

10. It is so cold in Fraser that folks have to jump into their refrigerators to get warm.

9. When the mercury plunges, Fraser bartenders are forced to serve whiskey in a slush cup.

8. It is so frosty that your words stop in mid-air; hence, you can stick them in an envelope and mail them like a letter.

7. Fraser’s frigid weather is so well known that the polar bears are booking flights out of Alaska to Colorado.

6. You can spot a native Fraserian-they have no noses, ears, fingers or toes or….well, refer to # 5.

5. It is so bitterly cold in Fraser that no rancher has to manually castrate his bulls.

4. Fraser stays chilly enough to ice skate to the July 4th picnic.

3. You can’t bury people underground in Frasier-it’s frozen like concrete.  Consequently, the town has developed a “sculpture” park. Very realistic-looking, one might add.

2. Frostbite has become a four letter word in Fraser and Anti-freeze is sold as an energy drink.

And the #1 reason why Fraser deserves to be crowned the “Icebox of the Nation”…..

From the studies of sex life in Fraser, the science of Cryogenics was developed.

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Leslie Robinson

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