Lawmakers’ Big Day Off

Colorado legislators had a bittersweet morning today. Many of them woke up giddy with excitement about the snow day bestowed on them yesterday by Mother Nature, House Majority Leader Alice Madden and Senate Majority Leader Ken Gordon. They put on their snowsuits and earmuffs, filled their Thermoses with spiked hot chocolate and headed to the West lawn of the capitol for a rare April session of legislative sledding.

But Mother Nature didn’t deliver. Not a fleck or a speck of the promised six inches rested on the grass.

“I’m really disappointed,” said Sen. Bob Hagedorn as he sat on the capitol steps, his snowboard resting next to him. “But I guess I’m glad we don’t have to go to work.” “I completely agree with you for once, Bob,” said a forlorn Sen. Dave Schultheis. The Republican gestured at a group of lawmakers gathered nearby. “They’re talking about Amendment 41 again,” he said.

The legislators were indeed engrossed in a heated debate over the ethics law.

“We want to go bowling,” explained Sen. Gordon. “But we’re trying to decide if Amendment 41 prevents us from getting a group discount at the bowling alley.”

“It’s fine as long as it’s not more than $49,” insisted Sen. Peter Groff.

“Let’s just rent some movies, go to my house and order a bunch of pizzas,” suggested Senate President Joan Fitz-Gerald.

“That sounds good,” Sen. Jack Taylor said. “I’ve been dying to see Borat. He looked down sheepishly. “But can you spot me Joan? We won’t be getting our per diem for today, and I totally blew my budget this week at the Palm.

Fitz-Gerald sighed but nodded. “Let’s get out of here,” she said. “Meet me at Blockbuster.”

But not all of the legislators were interested in a movie day.

“My hat is itchy,” said Sen. Ron Tupa, vigorously scratching his forehead underneath his striped wool beanie. “I’m going home,” he said as he walked off, clutching his red saucer sled to his chest.

Barring another false alarm, the legislature will be back in session on Monday.

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Kerri Rebresh

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