Janet Rowland

Here now is Republican candidate Janet Rowland’s gun story, delivered right on on cue as Bob Beauprez rolled out the red carpet across the state yesterday introducing his pick for lieutenant governor.

The homey yarn was spun first at the state Capitol in Denver, then repeated all the way through the final stretch, in Rowland’s home city of Grand Junction.

Rowland was talking about her family, and pointed out that her husband Lance has been a hunter for so long that, well, he’s gone hunting since before he was big enough to tote a rifle. Nineteen years ago, she was pregnant with their son, whom she didn’t identify by name. His due date was Oct. 18 – which everyone knows was the first day of rifle hunting season. Rowland said she was afraid she might have to give birth up on the Grand Mesa. But, somehow her son “must have understood in utero” the problematic logistics and so, was gracious enough to be born a week-and-a-half early. “And everyone,” Rowland finished the story, “lived happily after.”