I’m going to steal a page from ESPN sports columnist Bill Simmons and offer up my live blog of last night’s gubernatorial debate on Channel 7 (ABC).
Intro begins with snazzy Vote America 2006 graphics. Some woman from the League of Women Voters and some dude from the Colorado Bar Association make the introductions.
Channel 7 News Anchor Mike Landiss pops up and says, “Most of what you hear tonight could determine who wins the governors race.”
Um…no. Good work trying to build the drama, Mike, but this is nowhere near as important as you’d like to think it is. The only people who are even going to watch the entire debate are political nerds like me.
On another note, what happened to Mike Landiss? He just disappeared for several years, then he popped back up in Denver as though he never aged a day. Weird.
George Stephanapolufagus is the moderator of the debate. Pretty cool that ABC flew him in to handle this debate, but then he says that most of the questions come from Channel 7 viewers. So, why is he even here?
It’s a nice gig if you can get it, though. Fly around the country moderating debates in which the questions are already provided for you.
George’s first question is about school shootings. Democratic candidate Bill Ritter rambles on about a target heart magnomometer or something. Two minutes into the debate and the viewing audience is already more confused than if they were watching Turkish Wheel of Fortune.
Ritter keeps talking and says that he thinks school access should be restricted and it should be harder to get into school.
No armed guards, no megatrons, says George. Turning to Republican candidate Bob Beauprez, he asks, “Do you agree?”
Beauprez looks gaunt. He seems visibly ill, like he might throw up. He leans forward and ducks the question with a vague answer about how the governor must keep people safe. Then he says he works in a place with armed guards, “As do you, George.” Huh? There are armed guards at ABC? Really?
Ritter picks the question back up, and gets back to the magnetrons. He says he studied this whole option of magnet targeting and heart monitors, then talks about school districts needing to have local control on school safety decisions. Good move to bring up local control, because I still don’t know what the hell he’s talking about. Seriously