Maybe it was how the political planets were lined up the past couple of weeks. Perhaps the 2006 elections got too intense and insanity broke over the levee. Whatever the cause, politics have gotten into the “wacky” zone.
First, take this quiz. Match up the public figure to the best description:A. Rock star B. High profile politician C. Movie Star D. Evangelicals E. Sports star F. CEO of major corporation G. Radio personality
2. Sex with girls, boys, men, and/or women (other than whom you are married to)
3. Lights, microphones, cameras, adoring fans
4. Expensive clothes, fast cars, huge mansions, majestic egos
6. Denials, ask forgiveness and hire good lawyers
7. Rehab or jail
If only we could claim we made these up — from national and statewide political news headlines:
Actor Michael J. Fox, who suffers from Parkinson’s disease, made a couple of commercials in support of Democratic candidates. Fox’s disease makes Fox to move uncontrollably. Rush Limbaugh, the conservative radio host who has had problems with drug abuse, accused Fox of being off his medication.
Former Enron boss Jeffrey Skilling was sentenced to 24 years for his role in the giant fraud that led to the energy firm’s 2001 collapse. But his partner in crime, Ken Lay, was excused by the court for his role in the Enron collapse because he died before sentencing. Good for his surviving relatives; bad for the former Enron employees seeking reimbursement.
As reported in Colorado Confidential, a Colorado Springs religious organization, Focus on the Family, was advertising for a “Have Gun, Will Travel” security officer who would not only provide security support to the ministry, but also take care of their armory of weapons. Does “Focus” mean looking through the rifle scope?
US Senator John Kerry became the “Cooler” of the Democratic Party’s recent run at the media tables. He finally did apologize for an attempt at a joke against Bush and the War in Iraq, but political pundits say Kerry threw in the chips for his chances at another presidential run. And he didn’t even scream.
Conveniently buried under current political rah-rah was Ohio Rep. Bob Ney’s resignation from Congress. Among the many other criminal charges, the Ohio Republican faced expulsion from the House following his guilty plea to multiple counts stemming from the long-running probe of disgraced lobbyist Jack Abramoff. What’s so interesting? No one noticed.
Still grabbing the headlines and followed closely by Colorado Confidential, is the Pastor Ted Haggard scandal. Haggard, under scrutiny since a male escort said he had a sexual affair with the preacher and shared drugs with him, wrote in a letter to his New Life Church congregation that he had a repulsive and dark part of his life that he’s been warring against all his adult life. Sounds like an updated version of “The Devil made me do it.”
Vice President Dick Cheney is going to relax on Election Day by going hunting in South Dakota. There’s a rumor he’s gunning for Republican gubernatorial candidate Bob Beauprez’s trained migrating elk.