State of the Union Bingo

    The scene: We’re in the downstairs lounge at the Hotel Denver Brew Pub in Glenwood Springs. A group of Liberals have decided to bond together to watch the State of the Union address. The chicken wire is in front of the large TV, but no matter. The Pub doesn’t serve bottled beer and at $5 a glass, these Democrats aren’t going to waste a drop.The players: Joan, Nick, Larry and his wife, Bobbie plus Dana, Kim and her date, Roy (a recovering Republican/Libertarian), Tom and Andy chat about what to expect out of the State of the Union address. Granted, after six years of tyranny, this group isn’t going to give much slack to the president.

    Here are a few pre-speech comments:

    Larry: I want to hear Bush change his mind about global warming.
    Joan: What about our troops dying in Iraq?
    Kim: If he talks about his domestic policies, it’ll be a very short speech.
    Andy: 10 to 1, Lieberman’s goin’ to get another kiss.

    Dana passes out bingo cards. In each square is a word-fear,enemy, struggle, threat, September 11, terror/ist/ism, democracy….hey, this is going to be a fun game!

    “These bingo cards are from last year’s State of the Union address,” Dana says, “But I bet they will still be valid.”

    So, during the State of the Union address, these folks have their noses down looking to cross out a word, but they don’t skip a beat making comments as the speech continues.

    “*%$#@!” was Andy’s favorite expression. The women comment on Condi’s scowls and laugh at Laura’s bright pinkish red outfit. “Look at Nancy Pelosi-didn’t she just drill a hole in back of Bush’s head on that statement?” Tom noted there was no mention of New Orleans. Moans and jeers continue.

    Halfway through, Andy pipes up again, “Well, that’s been a &%$#@! waste of 20  minutes.”

    “Bingo!” Larry calls out. Tom follows. The word “fear” helps them win the game. And there’s still fifteen minutes to go.

    Afterwards, the consensus is the same: “He didn’t say anything.” Nick added there were no surprises either. However, most did give credit to Bush about his immigration stance. “I guess that was the only thing I did agreed with Bush on,” Dana said.

    People look at their bingo cards and sigh. 2008 is still a long ways away.

    Here’s the word tally from the 2006 and 2007 State of the Union addresses:

    Terror/ist/ism  2006: 20  2007: 22
    Iraq  2006: 16  2007: 35
    War  2006: 13  2007:17
    Sept. 11  2006 and 2007: at least 6
    Security  2006 & 2007: 10
    Enemy  2006: 4  2007: 10
    Fight/ing  2006: 13  2007: 10
    Free/dom  2006: 17  2007: 11
    Peace  2006: 8  2007: 3
    Victory  2006: 5  2007: 2
    Clap-o-meter  2006: 66  2007: 64*
    *If Bush hadn’t mentioned Democratic majority and the three person-act at the end, the clap-o-meter would have been in the 50’s.

    Leslie Robinson is “almost” a local, living in Western Colorado for 30 years.

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