The April month kicks off a round of surprisingly choice political gossip that you heard here first on the First.“Which Way?”
Bob Beauprez will announce his candidacy for U.S. Senate in the very near future. That will give new meaning for the nickname “Both Ways Bob.” An anonymous Beauprez spokesman explained: “Bob ran for governor and since that didn’t work, now he has decided to run for Senate. He’s going to try to get back in office both ways and any way he can.”
Owens “Heart” Siberia
Hush, Hush is looking into the rumor that former governor Bill Owens is requesting a dual citizenship to the Ukraine to enhance his business tax position in Russia.
Tatoos Not Good Enough
House leader Andrew Romanoff has decided to institute new rules about journalists on the floor-if they are willing to be hot branded with a permanent ID, they will be permitted to stay.
Cowboys and Legislators
And talk about round-ups, in a secret e-mail that got into the hands of Hush, Hush, Romanoff wrote he is considering barring lobbyists from entering the Capitol Building. Instead, they will be corralled on the outside steps and given ropes to lasso the legislators coming in. If they miss–too bad, so sad.
Ritter Gassed Up About Drilling
Governor Ritter has decided to something about the oil and gas debate. The governor’s office said Ritter is going to sign a moratorium shutting down all oil and gas production for at least three months in Colorado. “We have to start off with a clean plate,” Ritter noted, “in order to take a good look at all the O&G bills and commissions.” In response, Vice President Dick Cheney is flying to Colorado on Monday with the National Guard.
DNC Ditches Denver
Democratic National Committee chair, Howard Dean is traveling to Colorado in a couple of weeks to give Denver the bad news: he’s moving the convention site to Rangely. Since none of the conventioneers will be able to find it, Dean said it will save the party a lot of money. “We’ll do a live call-in vote instead for the Democratic presidential candidate.” Dean added. “If it works for American Idol, it’ll work for the Democrats.”
Republican Web site Frozen In Time
To give Colorado Republicans some bits of hope for the upcoming 2008 elections, state party ruler, Dick Wadhams said he will convert their Web site back to January 1, 2001. “We want our guys to remember the good ole days,” a party staffer explained, “when the Bush team won and took over foreign policy and national security.”
Got any more April Fool’s Day political gossip and tidbits? Add them below….