Toilet Paper and Watermelons

Lawmakers in several other states feel Rep. Mary Hodge’s pain.

The Brighton Democrat drew laughs from colleagues when she introduced a bill earlier this year to ban the forced implantation of microchips in humans – an experience Florida Sen. Victor Crist might identify with. The Republican is sponsoring a bill that would require restaurants to ensure all their bathrooms are always stocked with toilet paper. An important hygiene issue surely, but something for the state to regulate? And even if TP is always available, how do they know people are using it? Maybe they’ll put signs in stalls saying, “The State of Florida reminds you to wipe your …”

And in Oklahoma, lawmakers have passed a law saying a fruit is no longer a fruit. In a bind because the Sooner State already has a state fruit, legislators declared the watermelon the state vegetable in order to promote the round, green entity in honor of a watermelon festival. And Hodge wasn’t the only one proposing anti-microchip bills this year. Wisconsin passed a ban already and the issue was considered by several other states. A legislative committee in Georgia recommended  that the state “ban employers from requiring their workers to have microchips implanted in their arms so their bosses may track them with computers.” So Hodge might have the last laugh. Probably a robotic, cackling laugh controlled by an implanted microchip.