Are you looking for the perfect gift for that fanatical Democrat or rabid Republican in your life? Are you stumped what to give that disenfranchised voter in your household or office? At this particular moment, are you frustrated that the only thing you can find for your media-cynical friend for the holidays is a Sen. Larry Craig Action Figure?
To make your shopping easier, Hush, Hush perused the Internet searching for the perfect gifts that should satisfy even the Scroogiest political junkie on your gift list.
For those who can’t wait for the 2009 presidential inauguration, there’s the “Bush Countdown Keychain.” Or if you want to cuddle with your favorite Democrat, get the fire kindled with the “Burning Bush Log Starter.”
This item will crack any hard nut with one squeeze. Whether that’s an advantage in the 2008 presidential elections, remains to be seen.
Here’s another unique gift for a Republican political merchandise collector: a Giuliani Pez dispenser. Unfortunately, it may only hold 9 to 11 Pez candies at a time.
Although the baby may have to wait 17+ years to vote, you can still buy him or her a “John McCain for President” infant body suit. One problem, the baby is bundled up in the winter, so who’s going to see it?
So far, it appears the only presidential campaign offering candidate Christmas tree [ornaments ] is Sen. Barack Obama. Who knows? After the presidential primaries, they may go on sale.
OK, a dog can’t vote, but that doesn’t mean he can’t take a bite out of politics. On its website, the manufacturer of Political Pet Toys notes its chew toys happen to look like world dignitaries — like former Secretary of State Donald Rumsfeld.
Seeing your dog happily drag this personality around the garden will give you similar satisfaction of “getting even.” Give it to your dog and it will decide their fate.
Here’s the best buy for the crabbiest person on your list who sees no joy in the upcoming election season. But Happy Holidays to you!