Wrapping the Weird: Five odd, misbegotten gifts

‘Tis the season for oddball presents, and here are five of the weirdest nonpolitical gifts of the holidays. Findings include wacky apparel and ambiguously edible caramel candies.

More after the jump, with pictures!Sleeping Santa Tie

Horrendous ties are nothing new, but this item, which is apparently supposed to show St. Nick sleeping off the holidays, contains about a million haphazard Zs. It looks like Santa is contemplating quantum physics rather than napping. Or maybe he’s questioning the fundamental underpinnings of his existence? 

Christmas Marbles

Marbles are great fun … in the Little Rascals universe. In the age of Nintendo DS and Bratz dolls, marbles may very well surpass clothes as the worst gift to give to children. It would take an apocalyptic event for youngsters to play with these again.

Santa Liquor Bottle

Because we all know that Santa wouldn’t be sooo jolly if it wasn’t for a little inebriation. This French vintage liquor container goes for a whopping $275 and allows adults the privilege of getting juiced through an effigy of an elderly, obese man.

Christmas Vaporizer

According to the company that makes this product, a vaporizer is a perfect Christmas gift for the smoker in your family. Use it for all your … um … tobacco needs. Yeah, that’s it.

Caramel Pecan Yule Logs

This vendor was quite particular about picture rights, so there isn’t an image here. But after looking at the Caramel Pecan Yule Logs on the seller’s site, it appears that you might be better off choking down lead-tainted toys rather than these 12-ounce caramel bricks encrusted in pecans and milk chocolate.

Erin Rosa was born in Spain and raised in Colorado Springs. She is a freelance writer currently living in Denver. Rosa's work has been featured in a variety of news outlets including the Huffington Post, Democracy Now!, and the Rocky Mountain Chronicle, an alternative-weekly in Northern Colorado where she worked as a columnist covering the state legislature. Rosa has received awards from the Society of Professional Journalists for her reporting on lobbying and woman's health issues. She was also tapped with a rare honorable mention award by the Newspaper Guild-CWA's David S. Barr Award in 2008--only the second such honor conferred in its nine-year history--for her investigative series covering the federal government's Supermax prison in the state. Rosa covers the labor community, corrections, immigration and government transparency matters. She can be reached at erosa@www.coloradoindependent.com.

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