On Sunday, The New York Times released a guide to the Mile High City called "36 Hours in Denver" and boy, does it differ from what Denver officialdom wants visitors to see during the Democratic National Convention.
Granted, the snarky article does take the reader to Denver tourist mainstays like the Molly Brown House (which "belonged to a backwoods social climber"), the State Capitol ("made of sound Colorado granite") and the Denver Art Museum (which "looks like an Imperial Cruiser from ‘Star Wars’"), but the tour deviates to some of Denver’s stranger landmarks.
The reader is directed to the Buckhorn Exchange, billed as Denver’s oldest restaurant ("Be grateful that about the only species not represented in the form of taxidermy on the walls (or the menu)…is the donkey"), Lannie’s Clocktower Cabaret ("You might try to lose the press, as the raunchy burlesque shows on Saturday nights typically involve some sort of spanking or drag acts") and even the Mile High Flea Market ("The big trend here this summer — go figure — is merchandise printed with the distinctive leaf of the marijuana plant").
Contrast that list with one that DNC volunteers have been directed to share with bored or confused convention-goers. The list is, well, tame in comparison, including the 16th Street Mall, the LoDo shopping district, the Cherry Creek shopping district, the Denver Zoo, the Colorado History Museum, and the Buffalo Bill Musuem and Grave.
Oddly enough, neither list includes Denver’s extensive park system. Then again, tour guides probably want to steer delegates clear of the parks, lest they run into the very people protesting their presence at the convention.