With Colorado Gov. Bill Ritter and several county clerks urging Coloradans to vote early or vote by mail-in ballot, Senate Majority Leader Ken Gordon, D-Denver, has joined the chorus.
Gordon sent an e-mail to his constituents last week titled “You Can Vote Naked! (but not on Election Day),” in which he explained the benefits of voting early or voting by mail, since this year’s massive 18-question ballot will likely make for long lines at the polling places on Election Day.
In order to sway voters, Gordon enumerated 10 comical reasons not to take advantage of early or mail-in voting and to wait until Election Day to vote at the polls. Here’s the list:
10. Maybe I’ll run into that nice guy Dan, who I stood next to for three hours when I tried to vote in 2006.
9. My babysitter said she needs more hours or she is going to quit.
8. I like to experience different kinds of weather, such as, snow and sleet while waiting in line. It reminds me of Valley Forge.
7. I like to be at the mercy of electronic technology glitches. It makes me feel like I am in Las Vegas.
6. I can be on television when the camera crew comes by to show how long the lines still are for the 10:00 p.m. news.
5. This campaign season hasn’t been long enough, so anything to make it last.
4. Standing in line gives me an opportunity to count the number of bricks on the south side of the fire station.
3. If I multiply the number by four, I have a pretty good idea how many bricks are on all four sides, and I only needed to count one side.
2. If the computers go down and the line stops moving, maybe a volunteer will buy me pizza.
1. If I have to wait for hours to vote, maybe I could be the last person in the nation to vote and cast the deciding ballot.