If it walks like a turkey and talks like a turkey, it must be almost Thanksgiving. Which means one thing among many: expect the activists from the pretty radical People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals to show up with some horror stories about the widespread cruelty to turkeys in factory farms and slaughterhouses.
This year’s PETA’s publicity stunt involves “the Decider” himself, outgoing President George W. Bush, talking about how he’s going to pardon all turkeys. At least it’s someone who sorta looks, and sorta sounds, like W.
In the video, the goofy Bush wannabe kicks it off by noting that, “Every year about this time, I pardon a turkey.”
“Since, uh, well, this is going to be my last Thanksgiving in the White House, I decided—since I am the deciderer—to find out why I do that.”
Among past documented factory farm abuses PETA notes that “turkeys in nature are known to be protective and loving parents as well as fast runners who are able to use reason to outwit their pursuers. But tens of thousands of them are crammed into windowless warehouses, where disease, smothering, and heart attacks are common. Turkeys are drugged and bred to grow so large so quickly that their legs become unable to withstand the birds’ weight.”
The Norfolk, Virginia-based animal rights group, with 2 million members, would much rather people gobble down on Tofurkey, the tofu-based product that comes in the shape of a turkey.
“They say I’m a lame duck,” says “W” in this year’s video. “But I learned that a lot of turkeys can’t even walk by the time they get to slaughter ’cause they grow ’em so fat that their leg bones snap—just like Cheney’s temper.”