News Nuggets: 12 August 2009

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WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT? Gubernatorial candidate Scott McInnis didn’t give leftover campaign money from his aborted senate run to charity. He said he would and then, you know, things changed. He acted like a politician instead. He gave out a small portion of the $1.3 million to charity and then he found other uses for the money. There’s nothing illegal about that, it seems. He created something called the Western Way Political Action Committee and through it supported GOP candidates he liked. He made friends and influenced people. He promoted himself by having a charity near Grand Junction set aside some wilderness lands, a spot of environmental beauty now called McInnis Canyons. He’s looking for more donations now that he’s running for governor. Donors might stipulate that any eventual canyon lands financed through the donations be named for them and not candidate McInnis.

SMOKE THIS: There remains a big difference between hemp and pot. Just as there remains a big difference between a burglary and a man breaking into his own home because the lock is messed up. Shirts and paper and rope and many other things are made of hemp, especially outside the pot-panicked USA. Police authorities will be forgiven time and again for acting “stupid” in these and other matters. They will be invited for beer.

BIRTHERS AND PIONEERS: Birth certificates and other official evidence, no longer required here in the Centennial State. The prestige and dignity of the pioneer plate staring at you across your hood at the traffic light has evaporated. It’s over. Anyone can be a pioneer now. What next? Muslim presidents born in Kenya? The world these days.

FIGHT CLUB: In Greeley, if you plan to go out and watch people who know how to hit one another hit one another, know that no alcohol shall pass your lips, for now. But that might change. Greeley is considering going back to the long human tradition of mixing hitting and drinking.

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