Taking a page from Palin, a sassy grammatically challenged Maes shoots back from Facebook

Former Colorado gubernatorial candidate Dan Maes, who was in it to win it, is still around. He posted a long and rambling Facebook essay Wednesday characterized by conspiracy theories and pointing the finger for his loss everywhere but at himself.

Here it is one week after the election and I have yet to compose my thoughts. I am still reeling from what should of been a Republican victory in the Governor’s race. It could have been the ultimate unification of the Conservative Revolution and the Republican Institution to take over the Governor’s office, and most likely the Senate seat too, if all would have come around the Republican nominee in August.

Dan Maes

The first sentence in the above paragraph is probably where he should have ended this posting. If he still hasn’t composed his thoughts, why he is he still typing?

It’s hard not to like Dan Maes. He’s a nice guy. And, let’s face it, Colorado Republicans nominated him for governor. He can put that on his resume. This Facebook post, though, begs the question: If this is what he is like as a loser, what would he have been like as governor?

To read his post makes you long for the days of Don Quixote, or at least the days when you had time to read Cervantes.

How dare a newcomer have the gaul to actually work hard and deliver a concise and clear message that the people understood and agreed with! How dare he show up virtually everywhere as if he had cloned himself. How dare he win an assembly and a primary on pennies with the help of determined, passionate, patriot groups and volunteers! How dare the grass roots actually think they controlled the process instead of the power brokers calling the shots?! What to do about Dan Maes and those pesky, uninformed, foolish Tea Partiers?

Jousting? Yes indeed. Don’t mind if we do.

He blames his loss on Republican leadership, made-up polls, false advertising, and a media fascinated with his past. A sampling:

Second, divide and conquer. They could not do it with anyone who smelled of a RHINO. They needed someone who acted like a real conservative, someone who the Tea Partiers would actually believe was one of them. If they could only find someone who ranted and raved about DC and illegal immigration like they did. Who could that be?? Enter Tom Tancredo. He is one of us, right? He can save the day as Dan Maes could never win. Why not, because TT said so. That was good enough, right? Well, just to make sure Dan could not win we will launch a scorched earth ad campaign full of lies and half truths to destroy his charactor. We will get Bob Beauprez to say he can’t trust Dan Maes. We will get Freda Poundstone to twist the truth into a lie. We will use our long term friends in the conservative talk show arena to manufacture lies and to attack Dan for breathing on any given day. We will make it look like Tea Parties are abandoning Maes. We will make it look like elected officials actually supporting Maes pulled their support. Forget that half of them never supported Dan in the first place. Dan will not be able to defend himself because we will lock up all the money with a 3- way race. Big donors will be driven away. The RGA and others big names will sit on their checkbooks because of the now unwinnable 3-way race.

Then, we will manufacture some polls to close the deal. We will beat the grass roots endlessly with polls that make it plausible that TT can win. Everyone will abandon Dan Maes and vote not on any principles, but on who they think (or who they can trick them into thinking) can actually win. After all we have tried it over and over again and it should work, right? Forget that it failed the previous 4 times this decade. It will work THIS TIME. After all, we have a real conservative that they can get behind, not some RHINO. Yeh, that will work, yeh! They will never figure it out this time because we picked a guy that they actually like. Never mind he broke state laws to change parties. They won’t care. They will leave every bit of rational ey used to get this far on the sidelines.

There’s more. Really, there is.

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Scot Kersgaard has been managing editor of a political newspaper, editor and co-owner of a ski town newspaper, executive editor of eight high-tech magazines (where he worked with current Apple CEO Tim Cook), deputy press secretary to a U.S. Senator, and an outdoors columnist at the Rocky Mountain News. He has an English degree from the University of Washington. He was awarded a fellowship to study internet journalism at the University of Maryland's Knight Center for Specialized Journalism. He was student body president in college. He spends his free time hiking and skiing.

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