Police to downtown Denverites: We’ve got you covered (well, sort of)

Residents of Denver’s hip Ballpark neighborhood, less than two miles away from the Pepsi Center, received a perplexing email from the local police unit last Monday. The message urged tenants not to worry about safety during the Democratic National Convention as the neighborhood will be crawling with officers — likely double the usual amount.

However, residents were warned: “Please understand that we will not have the capability to respond to emails or phone calls, this includes the weekly security report,” the email reads. “Once the dust clears, your neighborhoods will be our number one priority.”

Oddly enough the memo says the dust won’t clear until Sept. 3 — five days after the convention ends — when Ballpark police will resume normal operations.